sports Tag

Illegal Asses on the Rise Females in the United States are taking Sir Mixalot too seriously. Due to a push from hip hop culture and peers, women are feeling more and more pressure to have large behinds. Often they turn to cosmetic surgery to enhance their buttocks. However, this procedure is quite costly, so females are turning to illegal and dangerous “underground” doctors to help them reach the perfect “Coca-cola shaped body.” Often the results are successful at first. But over time, their butts become saggy, bruised and painful. ThereRead More

  College football will be back in one month, and along with all of the best people in the world, I am ecstatic! I went to Baylor and have a near and dear place in my heart for the Big XII. I am also a straight, human woman and have a near and dear place in my heart for exceptionally hot men (I’m talking to you Kliff). I now invite you to take a journey with me through the coaches of the Big XII from the uggos to the only footballRead More

This year marks my 9th season of fantasy football participation, and I’m saddened to admit that I’m still as much of a noob as I was in 2005. Sure I’ve had some solid regular seasons, and made the playoffs numerous times, but I am still championship-less. It’s not that I can’t learn from my successes and mistakes. It’s just that in the months between January and August, any helpful fantasy football info gets muscled out of my brain by life. But now that the greatest sport in the world isRead More

Football is the best. My favorite sports are the NFL and college football. This fall I will spend my weekends grilling, watching football, and drinking beer. I will compulsively check my fantasy teams and concoct trades that my friends will almost certainly reject. I will wear Packers hoodies at least twice a week, pray that Aaron Rodgers doesn’t get injured, and feel pride that my team’s QB supports Movember.       However, just because I love football doesn’t mean I want a month and a half of fake footballRead More

Free Agency was a busy and shocking one as multiple big names including the best player on the planet signed with new teams. There are still a few big names out there such as Greg Monroe and Eric Bledsoe, so we should see where they go pretty soon. Regardless, there were plenty of winners and losers from this free agency, and this upcoming NBA season should be one of the most interesting ones in a while. Without further ado, here are my winners and losers from this year’s free agencyRead More

“I’m not having a press conference or a party. After this, it’s time to get to work.” – LeBron James   The best two-way player in the NBA, Lebron James decided to go to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Everyone knows the story. Lebron James, high school prodigy from nearby Akron, Ohio was drafted by the Cavaliers. After 7 moderately successful years (including a few ECF appearances and an NBA finals appearance)  he used his status as a free agent and the best basketball player in the universe to go to the MiamiRead More

I could open up with, “Baseball is America’s pastime yadda yadda yadda,” but I’ll avoid the clichés for the sake of our collective sanity. Most cultures internationally do not understand baseball for the same reasons we Americans typically do not understand soccer, but I’m not here to wage a fight along those lines. We know all about the All-Star athletes that were voted in, but let us take a moment to identify some All-Star fans. And by “All-Star,” I mean “stereotypical.” A lot of these types can be found acrossRead More

For anyone who knows baseball, imagine someone telling you in April that you would be looking at this scenario come July. The Oakland Athletics will have the best record in baseball. The Los Angeles Angels will have the second best record in the American League, good enough for a wild card spot in their division. The Seattle Mariners will hold the number two wild card spot. And the Texas Rangers? They are playing for next season….. Back in April, you would have scoffed at this. But now that we’ve surpassedRead More

If any of you have been trying to watch real sports on ESPN recently, you may have seen that the United States Men’s Soccer team was eliminated from this World Wide European and South American soccer tournament known as the World Cup. Despite making it further than much of the world expected, the Yanks could not prevail over the world’s leading waffle maker. This comes to no surprise because historically America has not been the best at soccer , football, futbol, or whatever the heck it is called. America mayRead More

It’s here, it’s finally arrived! One of the most coveted free agencies is finally official as of Tuesday. Essentially, the big prizes of this free agency come from the great 2003 Draft which includes LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh, and Dwyane Wade. Some players have already agreed to deals although they can’t be made official until July 10th. Marcin Gortat agreed to a 5 year $60 million deal with Washington and Kyle Lowry agreed to a 4 year $48 million deal with Toronto. Assuming these deals stay in place, that’sRead More

The World Cup is here, and Americans just don’t seem to get it. In real futbol cities, work is cancelled, stores are closed, and games are observed like national holidays. Most Americans go about their day per usual, maybe checking in on Bleacher Report or the handy-dandy twitter sidebar that’s been incorporated for the greatest tournament ever. Sports Center is still acknowledging the MLB games that will never end, the NBA draft, and Lebron’s lack of commitment. The only sports news worthy of interrupting World Cup footage thus far wouldRead More

The World Cup is like the Olympics. It happens once every four years, and before you can blink, it’s gone. While fans in other countries get amped for any soccer event on the calendar, the sport is only acknowledged in America during this time. In the past couple of weeks I’ve noticed fans cheering for many different reasons, but I’ll narrow them into the following three groups.   Type 1 – The Pretentious Multiculturalist This fan is the most obnoxious of any sports fan. Sorry Yankees fans, they have youRead More

“The transaction seems to have usurped the action in sports because the promise of tomorrow can feel so much better than your team’s today” – Dan LeBatard I’d say that the value of transactions has another basis. I’m 6’1 and about 155 lbs.  I won’t be a center in the NBA. When I criticize an NBA center about the basketball skills that they don’t have, I do so knowing that the things that they can’t do are also things that I can’t do, and never will.  However, fans can be amateur GMsRead More

Yes “soccer,” not “football.” I’m not usually a cranky American, but football = pigskin, just so we’re all clear. It’s funny how so much animosity can be harbored towards a singular sport, but soccer has come a long way. Compared to the US soccer scene ten, even five years ago, tremendous progress has been made in harnessing support and fandom for our men’s and women’s national teams. (I actually have a meager collection of jerseys now.) But compared to something like the NFL, MLB, or NBA, MLS does not standRead More

The 2014 NBA Draft is only two days away and there is already a shake up at the top. Kansas center Joel Embiid was pretty much the unanimous pick to get drafted first overall to the Cleveland Cavaliers, but a recent foot injury during workouts, tacked on to the season ending back injury he suffered this past season supposedly has scared many teams away. It’s rare to find a center with Embiid’s talent both offensively and defensively, and some team will be ecstatic with the risk they take of drafting him,Read More