Nightlife Tag

Because not every dance floor can have Patrick Swayze. Nearly all adult dance floors yield the same experience for me (excluding Mormon ones, which I greatly prefer, because we leave room for Jesus in between).  It typically goes like the beginning of an Ashlee Simpson song: All my girls  stand in a circle and clap your hands, this is for you. Okay, so there’s not a lot of clapping happening, but there is a collection of boozy guys lurking in the periphery, trying to decide which stranger to approach andRead More

Last week, I was in Las Vegas. I was in Las Vegas for five nights too long…and by that, I mean I was in Las Vegas for five nights. As a problem gambler and a party-loving idiot, being in Vegas at all was probably a terrible choice. But during my time in Vegas, I learned a few valuable lessons which I would like to impart onto the rest of you.   Bribery ALWAYS Works Going to Vegas with a group of five dudes and one girl, our odds for gettingRead More

As a former bartender, I find great pleasure in listing all the things you can do, as a customer, that really and truly leave us pulling our hair out. Some of you may be aware, some of you may have no idea; so, for future reference and for the sake of every bartender, everywhere, let me explain in more detail.   Ordering one drink at a time: Now, we are not, nor have we ever claimed to have an impeccable memory that grants us our own page in the ‘GuinnessRead More

Here’s what happened: 5 points to anyone who laughed at that reference. So here’s what happened: I was at my tied-for-favorite bar in Atlanta (it’s Mother, in case any ATLiens are reading this) and for whatever reason my friends were off doing something and I was left to my own devices for the moment (always a bad idea). Actually, in retrospect, I probably just went downstairs to pee, which goes to show you how much damage I can do in 10 minutes. Anyway, so I’m downstairs minding my own businessRead More

Here are a few tips on how to keep your lady status intact when going out in public, under the influence…   -Stop Getting White Girl Wasted: We all know this girl. She’s taking shot after shot, screaming and dancing around when her jam comes on, and trying to tell her more reasonable friends “I’M LIKE TOTALLYYY NOT THAT DRUNK BEEETCH!” We all have our drunken moments, I get that, but this will only be acceptable a handful of times before you are labeled a drunk mess. Pacing yourself is alwaysRead More

Regardless of whether you’re hitting up one or ten music festivals this year, there’s still some amount of preparation required for each one. You and your group are put up against massive crowds, unfamiliar territory, extreme climates, and questionable states of mind. You might end up as group leader, you might be tagging along for a good time. Either way, make sure your asses are covered.   Base Camp These things take planning. Buy your festival tickets and figure out where you’ll be sleeping as early on as possible. ItRead More