1. The Dysfunctional Teenager This person is the person who gets stoned before every big school event just to see how different it is compared to the times they went sober. Their mother is done raising them, and says things like, “I’m done! There’s nothing left for me to teach you!” They’re probably into really artsy, expressive things, and are insanely talented. They dabble in any and all forms of art, and somehow still make it thoughtful and art show worthy. They know all the good music, the good concerts, the
Read MoreOthers notice it, or recognize the absence of it. That silent “R” that Bostonians leave out when speaking. When you hear it, or don’t, that’s when you know you’ve stepped into the greater Boston area. You’re now in “Boston Strong” territory. I have no problem screaming at the top of my lungs that I was born and raised in California. We’re all from somewhere, and yes, I’m extremely proud to be a California Girl, but there’s something about saying I live in Boston that causes a smile that I didn’t
Read MoreI close my eyes and images appear in my mind. They’re ones I haven’t conjured up. They’re immediate and ugly and ferocious — a dismembered arm, a spider crawling outwards from an eye with its silky, black legs, and a red hourglass on its belly. I can’t sleep. Sometimes I wish I was a hamster. Hamsters are nocturnal, after all, and this sleeplessness at night would then be acceptable. I take a deep breath. (The kind that cracks your spine in a few places at once, but doesn’t calm you
Read MoreFamily. Six letters, three syllables. We all have it in some way, shape, or form. Some people say it’s the people who are there from birth until death do you part, amen, forever. Some people say it’s the people who support you and love you. Both sets of people are right, of course, but the fact is that your family isn’t just what they have in mind– that the group of people who buy birthday cakes and hang your picture on their wall don’t have to be the people who
Read MoreIf you’re like me– sixteen and thrust into a grown up world of taxes and employment before you even graduate– then you’re probably internally dying over taxes, employment, and what in God’s name the powerhouse of the cell is…because you have a biology test next week and you have no idea. If you’re not like me, congratulations, because you still have a soul hidden from the rudest people in mankind and the desperate urge to sleep. Juggling this all would’ve been easier with a handy guide to navigating the intricacies
Read MoreI’ve been in low places, like on the floor — in a matching sweat suit that wasn’t mine. While crying and kicking my feet, a teensy bit, like a two year-old in the peak of his tantrum. And the matching sweat suit was gray and didn’t belong to me and was the kind you purchase at Target in the men’s section for $11.99. And it belonged to my decently androgynous roommate who dated a pretty androgynous woman who wore the same kind of underwear. And when they walked by on
Read MoreOkay, I will never be the first person to say that getting a job when you’re allowed to is a bad thing, but I’ll also never be the person to say that getting a job is full of sunshine and rainbows and that it restores your faith in humanity, because it doesn’t– that’s a lie perpetuated by movies and TV and the occasional blogger. Nevertheless, I still have a job, for, y’know, college. To celebrate almost a full year in this particular job– whose nickname rhymes with Rickey Lee’s– I’ve
Read MoreI never thought I would be exchanging battle stories with my dad when it comes to the War of Love. He’s probably thinking the exact same thing. Not that it’s brag worthy, but my dad was going out on more dates than me at one point. We never expected to be in this situation, but after losing my mom to cancer over two years ago, we find dating to be a normal topic of discussion now. Sometimes it’s hilarious and other times it’s just weird. For better or for worse,
Read MoreSo, I have kind of a problem with impulse control. If I see a cute (insert item of clothing here), and it’s not that expensive, I’ll usually buy it without much thought to whether it fits into my budget (lol, what’s a budget), or whether it fits into my wardrobe (but it’s cute! Who cares if I never wear it?) It’s something that I’m trying to work on. This past month I tried to go shopping-free, as in, I tried not to buy anything, except for food and toiletries (not
Read MoreIt’s easy to always put the blame on your end, to think and assume that every fiasco is because of your doing, to just apologize even when it’s beyond your control. You have grown so attached to the notion that saying sorry will always make up for things, will always restore them back to how they are. I regret to break this to you but no, ‘sorry’ isn’t a magic word you can just blurt out to get things working how they used to be. You have to realize that
Read MoreBy the time you read this I’ll be 29, probably. One last year of my 20s. It’s settling on me like the realization that five compartments were flooding settled on Thomas Andrews, my 20s will be over. I will become 30… I wished that I had developed a better vision for what I wanted my life to be like when I was 30. If I had I probably wouldn’t be broke & living in my parents’ house in west Michigan. Maybe not majoring in Philosophy would’ve helped too. But this
Read MoreMy third grade self had planned on getting married when I was twenty and having children when I was twenty-two. (Even then I knew I would need at least a year of designated binge drinking before being responsible for another human). I was going to be a writer when I grew up and I was going to live by the beach. I loved the beach. It was inconceivable to me that there might be restrictions to the planning of these life events. It might be hard to find a husband.
Read More“Everyone in the neighborhood rejoices?” or “A bunch of meatheads have to look for something else to talk about?” you’re probably thinking. You’re right, there’s a tremendous and well-deserved reputation for Crossfit gyms to be full of braggadocios who are constantly throwing around jargon like “WOD,” “PR,” “AMRAP,” and the like. The Crossfit experience has definitely bred these things into members, but what it’s also bred is what’s given rise to the cultish following: fitness, healthy habits, weight loss. I can already feel your eyes rolling at your computer screen,
Read MoreWhile we all eagerly wait for Jesus to once again pop up from the dead (and doesn’t he take his sweet time), like the most anticipated pop tart that a hungry morning ever saw, our Catholic mothers have been reminding us for ages (or maybe just a week) to decide the Thing we will give up for Lent. This Thing is something of great importance, as we will all publicly post about it in order to be held accountable. With this sacrifice, there is a great chasm between what mother/Jesus
Read MoreWeek after week we seem to get lost in the shuffle. It’s normal and means you’re doing something right. If it was easy then it’d be boring. But stress mounts, so here are some ways to renew yourself on a daily basis. Because life is too short to spend day after day feeling drab. 1. Stretching This has helped me immensely. I started doing this to prepare myself for tennis and I now try to do it every morning in between gulps of coffee. Stretching your body stretches your mind…
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