Lessons Tag

There is nothing wrong with being in your twenties and having absolutely no idea what you want to do with your life. It is not a race, and there is no time limit to decide on what you are going to do. This is the point in your life where you can experiment, chase your dreams, and try new things. You are young enough to try something, hate it, and start all over again. Sometimes the only way to know what it is that you like, is to determine whatRead More

I’m getting to the point of my life where I slowly think I have everything figured out. Every day I learn something new about my past or my present and I create mental lists of what to keep note of, what to never do again, or what to make sure I do next time. Since I am a hopeless romantic and a deep-thinker when it comes to life, here are 50 things I have learned:   1. Everybody turns out to be who they said they wouldn’t be 2. HighRead More

Three hundred and sixty-five days ago, I walked across the stage at Radio City, diploma in hand, gauze on my post-Senior Formal feet and mom in the audience. I said goodbye to sharing secrets, stories, and clothes with my closest girlfriends, Tuesday night drink specials, and the corner-deli guy. I said goodbye to all-nighters, gin buckets, and afternoon ragers. I said goodbye to friends, to family, to professors-turned mentors. I said goodbye to one home, and said hello again to another. I said goodbye to college and hello to home.Read More

I have a curiosity for new experiences and adventures, an originality quest that lately has caused me to be reckless with my intentions and sloppy with my boundaries. The careful deliberateness I had cultivated evaporated somewhere between devirginizing  a twenty-six year old and my eighteenth bacon wrapped hot dog in a month span. Here are some lessons I have been privy to lately that I have realized you are never too old to learn:   1.  Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. This statement encompasses a range ofRead More

It sucks.  Having a shitty boss is like surviving on rice cakes for the rest of your life.  It’s outrageous!  It’s unfair, ridiculous, and criminal.  Maybe you’re on your 16th draft of a Pros and Cons of Quitting list, or maybe you’re resigned to the fact that your boss is as intelligent and useful as belly button lint–either way, try to see the bright side.  Here are some invaluable life lessons you can learn during this time:   1. What Incompetence Looks Like Sort of like how being raised byRead More

Your twenties are a decade to learn, grow, and make mistakes.  Below are the most important lessons 

I have learned so far.   1.  Despite how much they are jiggled in your face like a shake weight, transvestites with prosthetic breasts and penises, will not enjoy you grabbing their breasts for a picture, even if they are working at a transvestite restaurant.   2.  Check. Your. Oil. When the lever on your oil gauge moves back and forth from empty to full, your car, also known as Betty, has notRead More

-1- How to Sharpen a Knife with a whetstone First off, you need a whetstone and some form of lubricant.  Spit will work but you can use the special sharpening oil if no one ever taught you how to spit.  You can also you use sex lube.  I’m sure it will work.  Some stones will have more than one surface and which one you use will be determined by how jacked up your blade is.  If your blade looks like it was confused with a hammer at one point, then youRead More