Humor Tag

Posted On November 12, 2014By Allyson DarlingIn Girlzone, Lifestyle

The Conversations We Hate Having

1. Your weekend plans in the kitchen with your co-worker whose name you forget, but whose mustache crumbs you always remember. The necessity to construe a wholesome response before 8am because having morning sex and eating ramen twice in bed isn’t an acceptable answer to a person who is supposed to regard you professionally is irritating. And if you decided to make toast instead of cereal on that Friday you must engage further while he makes poor over-coffee talk about how fast weekends go by. And how it’s supposed toRead More

Posted On November 10, 2014By Kelsey DarlingIn Movies

The 10 Commandments of Netflix

1. Thou Shalt Have No Other Hobbies Before Me Although it is permissible to lie on your online dating profile, in an interview, or to impress an acquaintance.     2. Thou Shalt Not Take the Name of Lord Netflix in Vain Seriously.  Don’t insult or mock Netflix.  There are too many devout and loyal followers.  We are everywhere.     3. Remember to Keep Holy the Sabbath Day Which, in the instance of Lord Netflix, is every day.  Especially Friday nights and entire Saturdays.  But we can’t rule outRead More
I was halfway between my apartment and Dunkin’ Donuts when my first coffee of the day began to take hold. I felt more alert, like I always do. It’s strange, really, the profound effect that a mere cup of this brown stuff can have on you, especially in the moments after consuming your first of many doses for the day. For me, it’s the one ritualistic thing I can do immediately after waking and pissing that keeps me from entertaining the fantasies I always have of retiring once again toRead More
Where I come from, and in many small-town parts of the country, high school coaches are the most respected and revered public figures in the neighborhood. Growing up, I kind of accepted this and even bought into it a little bit. It’s not until you get older and have the benefits of real life experience and hindsight that you realize how absolutely bonkers this is. I mean, watch TV for 20 minutes on a Saturday and you’ll realize that people who coach football (and most popular sports) are, for theRead More

Posted On October 30, 2014By Ascher RobbinsIn Buzzworthy, Television, The Scene

Catching up with Michael Carbonaro

Hopefully by now you’ve seen Tru Tv’s The Carbonaro Effect, which premiered this summer to rave reviews from audiences and critics alike. Using a unique blend of magic and prankster-esque comedy, the shows titular magician, Michael Carbonaro, dupes unsuspecting people into believing the impossible. If you’re unfamiliar with the show, you can read my first interview with Carbonaro to see what he’s all about. In the first half of Season 1, Carbonaro was able to pop bowling balls out of flat packages, assemble a live duck with spare parts, andRead More
There’s nothing like a nice cocktail after a long day. There are hundreds of cocktail recipes out there, classics like Cosmos and Old Fashioneds, and then more obscure cocktails, like the ones below. Let’s be honest, not everyone keeps bitters on hand. We’re not all born bartenders. These cocktails are more practical, more convenient. Here are the essential cocktail recipes for everyday life. The Bad Day What You’ll Need: Vodka, anger, a desperate desire to numb it all. Directions: Pour vodka directly into your throat. Wince. Ask yourself if youRead More

Posted On October 23, 2014By Rachel HarrisonIn Movies

Scariest Non-Horror Movies

With Halloween fast approaching, it’s the time of year to curl up on the couch with a bowl of candy corn and watch a scary movie. There are the classics like The Exorcist, The Shining, The Amityville Horror, one of the 8,036 Saw movies…or you could go a less traditional route, you unique snowflake you, and watch one of these utterly horrifying non-horror movies.   Sex and the City 2 Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha are back and they’re…still complaining. After a decade of bitching, these wealthy, successful women whoRead More

Posted On October 22, 2014By Scott MuskaIn Dating For Men, Manzone

25 Potential Reasons for Why I Am Still Single

Next month I turn 27, which is definitely not an abnormal age during which to be single, but a lot of people in their late 20s are in serious relationships. Many of them are married and own homes and have created children (whereas I go months without getting laid and the most valuable thing I own is a five-year-old laptop computer). So now some people view it as curious that someone my age is single. They want to know why I still am. And why I have been for theRead More

Posted On October 20, 2014By Allyson DarlingIn Advice For Women, Girlzone

A Letter to my Uterus

Dear Uterus, We’ve had a tumultuous thirteen-year reign. I didn’t know you existed until I was marred by the woes of your lining shedding that made me wish I had a penis post-sixth grade graduation. We both know it’s unoriginal for a woman to rant about her period blood and this stigma is especially evident in the same world I whine about upper management at my company being men. So dear Uterus, I hope you appreciate the hypocrisy I am engaging in to pursue this letter to you. Thank you forRead More
My life is hard, okay? 1. I was starving but there was nothing in my fridge that I actually wanted to eat. 2. I really had to pee but was too lazy to get up. 3. Photoshop caused all the programs I was running to move too fucking slow. 4. They were doing construction for the 17 billionth time on the one road I take to work (seriously, at this point just let it be), making me at least 10 minutes later than I might have been otherwise. 5. TheRead More
“Here’s to God and football and, 10 years from now, Street, good friends livin’ large in Texas.” ~Tim Riggins, Fictional American Hero, Dillon Panthers Fullback.   Many professional football players love God very, very much, if their on-field behavior is to be believed. You know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever watched even a quarter of football. Ostensibly, everything they do is for him (or her). But does God love football players very, very much? We decided to sit down with the Big Man (or woman?! We’ll never tell!)Read More

Posted On October 13, 2014By Allyson DarlingIn Girlzone, Lifestyle

How to Respond to Acquaintance Interrogation

There’s a certain amount of  tact present when conversing with acquaintances. These aren’t your people that arrive with vodka and a burrito when something horrid has happened to you. They are the co-workers of your friends that have a homely, three-limbed dog, or perhaps your friend’s Craigslist roommate that masturbates loudly. Sometimes you get stuck in the backseat of their cars after a group-camping expedition and you spill ketchup on their seatbelt buckle and don’t tell them. Whoever they are, you have certainly never connected with them on a personalRead More

Posted On October 11, 2014By The Bored MillennialIn Gallery, Miscellaneous, Ramblings

Why Corgis Just Win.

Corgis!!                 Corgis have been dog royalty for centuries (cough cough Queen Elizabeth has at least 3). But recently it seems like they are mainly  known as the dog darlings of the internet.  But they are amazing for many reasons…     They Are Resilient                       They Are Always Ready To Play                       They Know How To Chill          Read More
The difference between your early twenties and your mid-twenties is vast. Once you hit your mid-twenties you’re welcome into a strange world where planning for retirement becomes a thing that you actually have to start thinking about, a world where everyone on MTV is younger than you, a world where you get invited to more weddings than keggers, a world where you can’t eat McDonalds because it’s “too greasy.” It’s basically the Twilight Zone. Another cool, fun thing about being in your mid-twenties is that you enter into a constantRead More

Posted On October 9, 2014By Scott MuskaIn Lifestyle, Manzone, Miscellaneous

22 Signs You’re Getting Older

I’m turning 27 soon. I wouldn’t say that qualifies me as old, but just like anyone else, I am definitely getting older. And I’m starting to feel it. There are signs I encounter almost daily. Here are some of the signs I’ve experienced or witnessed that indicate you are getting older and/or maturing:   You look back on the not-so-distant past, like when you were in late high school or college, and wish that you could travel back in time, slap yourself in the face, and scream “STOP BEING SUCH ARead More