Growing Up Tag

This one goes out to the Class of 2014. Whether you’re graduating this weekend, next weekend, or in June (yeah, I went to UCSB, I know all too well the pains of the quarter system and its late graduation dates), whether you attended a private school with 2,000 people or a public school with 20,000, whether you majored in dance or biochemistry, this article is for you.   I’m not exactly a perpetual optimist. A few weeks ago, I wrote a piece about some of the harsh realities of post-gradRead More

I recently went on what I can only describe as the most romantic date I have ever been on in my life. The guy, who I’d already hung out with and gotten to know, and whom I already really liked, found a wine bar in a great neighborhood that we both loved. For the record, I love wine, especially red, and I was flattered that he had already taken the time to find a place that catered to my interests. Leading up to the date, my excitement was ridiculous –Read More

May 2014 is upon us. It marks 1 year from when the best four years of my life (so far) ended and I entered this thing people call “the real world.” I haven’t seen many of the people with whom I shared classes, horrible professors, drinks, and memories for almost 12 months now. And soon, the class of 2014 will join me in the world I have not yet completely learned to love. There are so many things I wish I would have known about the post-grad life, but it isRead More

There’s no way Taylor Swift’s song doesn’t apply to you anymore. I don’t know about you, but I’m not feeling 23. Student loans are due, so you decided to opt for the Income Based Payment system. Your income is $0. You can’t be 23. You still go back to your college town twice a month because it was the greatest place of your life and you’re texting and driving along the way, you don’t know why you’re doing it, but you’re doing it AND YOU CAN’T BE 23 YET. ThenRead More

I’m pretty lucky when it comes to dealing with anxiety, because anxiety and I have a fairly straightforward relationship. Whenever I think I’m doing marginally okay, or feeling particularly productive, anxiety pops into my brain and quickly takes the wheel. It doesn’t matter how much I have achieved in my short 24 years of existence, anxiety has this trick that makes those achievements seem insignificant—it likes to remind me that I’m only one of approximately 6 billion humans on a planet floating in a vacuum of infinite space as weRead More

All your friends are getting married Bills Committed relationship (with your student loans) Debt Exploring and traveling Fading out of old friendships Grocery shopping for one Hangovers Interviews Juggling multiple part-time jobs with your fancy college degree Keeping in touch with friends that are worth it Learning how to pretend Morning-after pills New cities, new people One-night stands Pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner Quitting jobs that don’t deserve you Realizing how cool your family is Scheduling your own appointments Taxes Unemployment Villainous bosses Whiskey is the new vodka cranberryRead More

The caps and gowns have come in, but those of us in the Class of 2014 that are still slightly in denial about the end of our college careers have kept them safely stowed in the back of the closet. As May approaches, the number of awkward small talk and networking conversations has increased exponentially, and every mention of post-grad plans has us reaching for another glass of wine and scoop of guacamole. Whether you’re an underclassmen, a mentor, or a well-meaning family member, here are the Questions College SeniorsRead More

This is it. In six to ten weeks the Class of 2014 will be off to bigger, brighter (and slightly scarier) things. College may not last forever but those lessons learned (both in the classroom and out running rampant through the streets of your college town) will. Before you (attempt to) become a functioning member of society, take a look back on the last eight semesters and take in what you really took out of college (besides that degree). Write them down and keep a list like this one, written byRead More

It’s April, and you know what that means: Spring is in the air, the days are getting longer, and around the country, thousands upon thousands of undergraduates are either crapping their pants or crying into so many Keystone Lights. Why, you ask? Because in a month’s time, the Class of 2014 will be the Graduating Class of 2014. Yikes. No more college, no more parental support, and no more irresponsibility. All that’s left is the cold, hard real world and its jobs, rent, and worst of all, maturity. Gross. So forRead More

If we put down that near-barren wine glass that signifies the consumption of the better part of a bottle, if we turn off the Xbox, stop brunching, human-humping, and indulging in the other distractions that construct our twenties;if we are honest with ourselves, we realize that the only certain element of this defining decade is uncertainty.  Far away is that safe four (perhaps five) years of cushion that college provided for us.  Buffering us from the real world, college proves to be a quasi-adult world, where we are old enoughRead More

In honor and celebration of my birthday, which marks 23 years of stinky cheese breath, I offer you 23 confessions of my very own…   1. My first official confession was at the guilty age of 8, when I confessed to my Catholic priest, before my first communion, that I sometimes committed the grave sin of lying to my mother when she asked if I had brushed my teeth.  One should never lie about dental hygiene.   2. In 2nd grade my meanest, cruelest act of bullying was telling aRead More

We’ve all heard of the work-life balance, a.k.a. “don’t sit in front of a computer for 50 years and not see all the cool shit outside of the office too.” You go to work, and then you hang out with friends who know nothing about your office other than your complaints about the heavy breather and obsession with the new cute coworker (and prayers that you don’t get reported to HR). Every once in a while, you find yourself in the twilight zone known as a work happy hour, whereRead More

It sucks.  Having a shitty boss is like surviving on rice cakes for the rest of your life.  It’s outrageous!  It’s unfair, ridiculous, and criminal.  Maybe you’re on your 16th draft of a Pros and Cons of Quitting list, or maybe you’re resigned to the fact that your boss is as intelligent and useful as belly button lint–either way, try to see the bright side.  Here are some invaluable life lessons you can learn during this time:   1. What Incompetence Looks Like Sort of like how being raised byRead More

Your twenties are a decade to learn, grow, and make mistakes.  Below are the most important lessons 

I have learned so far.   1.  Despite how much they are jiggled in your face like a shake weight, transvestites with prosthetic breasts and penises, will not enjoy you grabbing their breasts for a picture, even if they are working at a transvestite restaurant.   2.  Check. Your. Oil. When the lever on your oil gauge moves back and forth from empty to full, your car, also known as Betty, has notRead More

Teaching you to be fearless Allowing fear to impact your decisions will always hold you back. If you grew up in a family that encouraged you to conquer your fears—flying, navigating cities, traveling alone, riding rollercoasters—thank them endlessly. You will never have to be one of those unfortunate people who kicks him or herself 10 years down the road for passing up an opportunity that could have lead them to amazing things.   Letting you wear that There are many reasons to be thankful for parents that allowed you establishRead More