Cut Your Hair Tag

For a while I’ve wanted to write about my experiences in strip clubs. I never got around to it. I was worried it would be preachy. Dumb. Boring. I requested guidance from amethyst I’d purchased from an Austin, Texas mineral shop. When the rock declined to tell me what to do, I got stoned and held a séance with dead white authors. Hemingway, the greatest of the sexually confused Modernists, appeared in a subliminal mushroom cloud the shape of two roosters crossed at the neck. E-Hem poked his ass outRead More

Posted On February 4, 2014By Patrick SmithIn Advice For Men, Manzone

A Letter to High School Me

This is a letter I wrote to myself after recently looking at one of my high school yearbooks.  Please excuse the language; I was wearing a lot of tie-dye in the pictures.   Dear Asshole, This is you, 11 years in the future.  First things first, you look fit!  Well done.  Keep it up.  It’s easy to stay fit.  It is hard to regain that.  So keep up the good work. Now, down to business.  Cut your hair, you look like an idiot.  Turns out that Mom was right whenRead More