Posted On July 16, 2014 By In Internet, The Scene

There’s An App For That

 
 

This past weekend I did what any 22 year old should be doing on a Friday night, which is going out to bars with friends. Only this Friday I didn’t go out with the usual arrogant, ostentatious, egotistical douchebags, also known as my best friends from college. This time I met up with my best friends from high school who all went to a different college. In the midst of trying to figure out the plans, there were some people confused by this alien idea of using an app for literally everything. I thought this article may be helpful to those who are unaware of certain “must have apps” (These are programs on your phone that you can download to use for a multitude of purposes).

 

Uber

According to the world-renowned scholarly journal, Wikipedia, the company was founded in 2009. I remember first using it in San Diego circa 2012 and I’ll admit I was amazed. We’re now deep into 2014 and I just assumed everyone who has an iPhone and friends knows about Uber. Apparently not the case. UberX is usually far cheaper than a cab, and according to my calculations roughly 2489% cheaper than a DUI.

 

Venmo

So now that someone has requested an Uber, it will charge the person’s credit card. You could split the fare but then you have to push more buttons, and we all know how difficult that can be. Splitting the price could be so daunting using the ancient commodity known as cash. Venmo allows you to pay your friends from an easy to use app that links to your bank account. Now while you’re being a loser in the corner checking your Instagram and Twitter feeds (and if you don’t have those apps then how did you even get here?) you can also pay your friend back for the ride.

 

Tinder

For those of you sitting and tweeting in the corner about being #foreveralone, you may want to download Tinder. I must disclose that I have not used this app because I have had a girlfriend since before the release of this. A lot of my friends have used this to meet guys or girls in the area and go out on dates. Many say it’s just a “hook-up app” but I’m not sure why people are complaining about that.

 

Snapchat

From recent studies done by the Institute of MakingShitUp, there has been three verified uses of Snapchat, the app that allows you to send a picture that later disappears forever with absolutely no way to ever get it back….lol its 2014 guys nothing goes away forever. Anyways, one is sending pictures of bad things so you can show others without the ability of them saving the image. The second is to be annoying as hell. See here. The third, and in my opinion the best reason ( because this is how I use it), is to share images without having to take the picture which then automatically saves on your phone, then potentially the cloud, then maybe even the photostream, then maybe even gets seen Edward Snowden and his former buddies at the NSA. Seems excessive for only trying to share a picture that I thought my friends would find cool.

 

Waze

I’m thoroughly convinced that despite the advances in technology, the traffic on Google maps and other navigation tools are not accurate. In a city like Los Angeles, the freeway could be moving along at the rapid pace of 35 mph and then come to a complete standstill within seconds. Users of Waze report real time incidents and traffic conditions by using the app. It even tells you where police are in case there’s that asshole waiting for someone to catch going too fast at the bottom of a hill. I’ll admit it could be improved but it’s pretty awesome.

I hope this was useful for those who have been hanging out with Patrick Star for the past 3 years. And I’m sure someone reading this thinks I’m so behind and these apps are outdated but I have friends and they probably spend most of their time reading these articles and commenting mean things on YouTube and reddit. Seriously those people are just ridiculous.

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Anthony is a graduate of UCSB who spends most of his waking hours working as an accountant and trying to find a better career path. On the weekend he studies for upcoming CPA exams he hopes to one day pass, but usually gets distracted and writes articles like the one you just read skimmed. He is very critical of the world, however does not judge people’s decisions unless it comes to consuming calories.

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