Happy Weekend! It’s been an interesting start to 2014 so far.
Wal-Mart has announced a recall on killer card table sets:
According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, Walmart is offering a refund for all Mainstays five-piece card table sets sold between May and November of 2013 because the damned things just won’t stop amputating fingers. The chairs, which are manufactured in China, collapse easily, causing finger sprains, breaks and amputations.
This gives a whoooole new meaning to “Chinese finger trap”.
(Yup, I just said that)
Wal-Mart customers in China are pissed when they discovered that their donkey meat products were contaminated with fox meat:
Ugh pull it together, Wal-Mart!
Evidently, donkey meat is a delicacy in Northern China. Fox, however, is not. It IS cheap though, and also smells pretty rank. Much to the dismay of many Chinese Wal-Mart customers, food-processing companies were able to get away with adding fox meat to their donkey products by adding in chemicals like, “The King of Rank Smell Removers”. . . I wish this were all a joke.
Women wearing lettuce lingerie braved freezing temperatures in support of PETA:
Several members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) showed up in downtown Minneapolis wearing nothing but lettuce leaves on January 2nd, in spite of the zero-degree temperature. The women handed out vegan hot cocoa and sandwiches to passersby, urging them to “turn over a new leaf” by going vegan in 2014.
According to the National Weather Service, with winds at 15mph, 0 degree temperatures can cause exposed skin to become frostbitten within 30 minutes. So, shout out to PETA for caring more about the humane treatment of animals than the humane treatment of humans.
An obese woman from the UK was shamed into losing 90lbs after attendants had to pin TWO wizard capes together for her photo at Harry Potter World:
. . .I’m not even sure what to say about this one. Everyone has to reach his or her own turning point. Thanks, Harry, for making this woman wish she was wearing an invisibility cloak and forcing her to re-evaluate her health?
50 Cent faces a lawsuit over his bizarre narration of someone else’s sex tape:
What the hell?
On January 2nd, a Florida judge denied 50 Cent’s request to dismiss a woman’s lawsuit over a personal sex tape that the rapper edited and released in 2009. The woman, Rick Ross’ former girlfriend (or baby mama? Or call girl?), claims that she did not give the rapper permission to view the video or to edit himself in as a wig-wearing narrator named “Pimpin’ Curly” and then release it to the public. I don’t even know who should be most embarrassed here…
And THAT is what 2014 has looked like so far!