What better way is there to recap a year than to revisit the tweets that mattered most? THERE ISN’T ONE. Without further ado, here are the 10 most noteworthy tweets of the past year…
#10 – Miley Montana
blonde hurrrrr errrrrrwurrrrr pic.twitter.com/lHNzrAUDuV
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) November 21, 2013
I don’t know how anyone finds this critter attractive anymore. I’ve seen more sexually appealing flounder. And even they have less terrifying eyebrows.
#9 – Amanda Bynes
Hear that? It’s the sound of another former child star self-destructing.
#8 – Marcus Vick
You can’t mix money and stupidity!
— Marcus Vick (@MVFive) December 11, 2013
For those of you unfamiliar Marcus Vick is Mike Vick’s little bro. And he makes his dogfighting brother look saintly. Yes, Marcus, you cannot mix money and stupidity. Your family should know this better than anyone.
#7 – Justin Bieber
My beloved beliebers I’m officially retiring — Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) December 25, 2013
God, if only this was factual.
#6 – Darrelle Revis
@Jason_Owen naw 16 is better
— Darrelle Revis (@Revis24) November 4, 2013
Never let it be said that Darrelle Revis plays for the love of the game.
#5 – Kanyeezus West
I open the debate… The 2nd verse of New Slaves is the best rap verse of all time….meaning … OF ALL TIME IN THE HISTORY OF RAP MUSIC, PERIOD — KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) July 20, 2013
Awwwwhhh. There’s that humble Kanye we know and love.
#4 – This Guy
I’m Trayvon Martin for Halloween pic.twitter.com/rWPkpyeWwo
— Cunt Wagon (@jamievandekamp) October 27, 2013
When you can’t think of a costume for Halloween, just pick the one that’s likely to offend the most people!
#3 – Dylan Sprouse
My brother and I used to call the Disney Channel show Mr. Sprouse appeared on “Zack and Chode-y” as a joke. We never knew how accurate we would be…
#2 – Aaron Hernandez
y’all got any good jokes for me?
— Aaron Hernandez (@AaronHernandez) May 9, 2013
By now, I think we all have some great jokes for you, Aaron. Hear the one about the football player in the prison showers?
#1 – Amanda Bynes
I mean…there couldn’t have been any other choice, right? Here’s to an equally twitastic 2014.