Posted On July 31, 2014 By In Miscellaneous, Ramblings, Rants

The Rules of the Elevator

 
 

The days of casual conversations have been traded in for abbreviated text conversations and Snap Chat exchanges. The “Hello, how are you?” has transitioned to “What’s up?”, and “That’s so funny” to “LOL.” Now these changes don’t just apply to everyday conversations, but rather every human interaction we have nowadays – including the sometimes uncomfortable elevator rides.

Now there are probably a few things that people should consider when riding in elevators. For instance, don’t ever do anything personal in an elevator because there is always someone watching…always. Just look at Jay-Z, do you really think he wanted people seeing his sister-in-law kick the shit out of him? …Probably not. But the truth is, there are just common rules that every person should be conscious of and should abide by.

 

1. My Bubble

Now I’m a huge advocate for personal space. I personally don’t like uninvited strangers lingering in what I consider my personal bubble, whether intentionally or not. If there is a whole elevator empty but you chose to stand on my side you will automatically be considered a creeper. Distance and space are key.

2. Keep Your Butt to Yourself

Sometimes people choose to pack an elevator. It happens, despite it totally feeling unsafe. If you choose to join in on this professional version of a sardine can I ask that you keep your body parts to yourself. Whether it be your butt, ponytail, or bag. It must have dawned on you when entering the elevator that there might not be enough room, but the rule of thumb should always be that if any part of your body is touching a stranger, then it’s probably a good idea to wait for the next elevator. Remember, this is not an orgy. Time and place, people.

 

3. Next Ride Up

I’m that person who when entering an elevator solo will press the “close” button a million times thinking that it will close the doors faster. To outweigh my eagerness to have an elevator to myself, I am not one to want people to hold an elevator for me. If I see an elevator door about to close I will walk slower, so as to not burden those in it to hold it for me. It’s actually inconsiderate if you think about it. What if they have an urgent appointment? There are multiple elevators, so just take the next one. No biggie.

4. No Service = Call Dropped

Elevators are not made for talking. The amount of cement surrounding it probably has something to do with it. So when you’re going into an elevator put down the phone. No one wants to hear your drunken stories or spousal arguments, especially in uncomfortably close corridors. Not to mention the awkward moment when the person realizes they are talking to themselves because phone reception doesn’t go through cement walls. I’ve always wondered why would you seem surprised the call dropped…No, seriously, why?

5. Eye Contact Is Key

Just because we’re in an elevator doesn’t mean we need to have a conversation. Silence is okay. It’s not uncomfortable unless you make it uncomfortable. We don’t need to talk about the weather or how slow the elevator is or if that noise is normal. If you don’t ride it enough to know if it’s normal then we probably shouldn’t be having small talk. Pretty much the rule is that if I don’t make some kind of eye contact then I’m probably not interested in a conversation. It’s not rude. It’s honest.

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…Always remember, there are always the stairs.

 

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Kristine is a warrior in the advertising world by day and dreamer by night. Her love for words has lead her to her outlet of writing and book hoarding. A cup of tea, good books, awesome tunes and beautiful travels sew her together. You'll find her in a constant coma of wanderlust so be sure to follow her adventure on Twitter and Instagram at @thisiskrissyy.

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