Posted On January 30, 2015 By In Advice For Men, Buzzworthy

Let’s Talk About Dick Pics

 
 

If you’ve got a peen, you’ve probably sent one.

If you’re a human being, you’ve probably received one.

From the data I gathered, most dick pics are unsolicited. I can only assume the outcome senders are hoping for, but I’ve got a gut feeling the desired effect does not often become reality.

dp-differentinmymind

 

What the sender expects:

It has been made pretty clear that the hopes of  a dick pic sender are to turn on the recipient and hopefully receive a photo in exchange. Three out of ten people who shared their experiences have been turned on by a dick pic. It should also be mentioned that in two of these cases the recipient was in a serious, sexual relationship with the sender.

dp-beautifulcock

The recipient’s reactions:

  • Unsolicited and uninterested: This almost always results in the photo being shown to everyone in a 10 foot radius regardless of where you are. One of my dear friends received an unwanted photo from a guy she was texting from Tinder. The sender took a full-body selfie in a hotel mirror: he was pants-less wearing sneakers, socks, and a sweater with his hand on his hip. Poor guy had the tiniest little wiener I’ve ever seen. Not only did he have a smaller boner than a puppy, it’s been brought up in conversation for the past three weeks. The friend who received the picture sent it in a group text, we’ve all shown almost everyone we know, and we showed strangers at a bar as well as our waitress at brunch. So that’s what really happens when you randomly send a dick pic.

dp- size

  • Sharing and Laughing: Like I said, the picture will spread like wildfire if it is sent to someone you aren’t well acquainted with. A typical girl’s night often involves passing around someone’s phone and laughing at a stranger’s member. It doesn’t matter if it’s huge or microscopic. While you think she’s playing dj, she’s probably laughing uncontrollably with her friends.

dp-laughinggirls

  • Snapchat Surprises: Almost every dick pick story that was shared with me involved surprise attack penises on Snapchat. They should all be heard.
    • “So there was this guy I met on OKCupid, we talked a bit but he was kind of an asshole… so we stopped talking. But it turns out we have a mutual friend, so he requested me on fb and I accepted… He adds me on snapchat. Then one day my brother and I are eating pizza and I get a snapchat from the dude, totally unannounced. Its a pic of his dick next to I think it was a TV remote or a can of something as like measurement. Then when I asked him about it he claimed not to remember. We also weren’t even having a conversation at that point, like it was completely spontaneous. I did not order my pizza with a side of black dick.”dp-pizza
    • “I don’t understand why men think we are just dying to see their member. They are not pretty looking and I’d rather not. Maybe they think it’s going to turn me on but it sure doesn’t… Dick snap chats are the worst. I have opened a few in public and I am sure other people saw. Never send one without forewarning!”dp-seriouslydont
    • “[A guy] has sent me a few, on snapchat. It’s the size of my arm and amazing but he refuses to send me pictures via iMessage even when I’ve sent him pictures. #selfish”
    • dp- plsyes“I was talking to a guy on Tinder, then we started texting, and he added me on snapchat. He worked at the bagel store that I went to almost every day because it was walking distance from my house, so I saw him several times a week. Our texting kind of fizzled out, and then he randomly snapchatted me a picture of a boner in sweatpants. I ignored it. Then he sent one a few minutes later of his boner behind an empty gatorade bottle, which was clear, and said ‘this guy wants you to come over.’ I didn’t go over. I lost my appetite for bagels.”

dp-getting creepd out

  • Keeping it private: Although the most shared reaction is to show the pictures to everyone you know, there are plenty of people that receive them and enjoy them whether the pictures are from a romantic partner, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
    • “I love getting dick pics from my current boo thang. They totally turn me on, and I don’t show anyone else because I want him to myself and I don’t want anyone else to see what I get to play around with.” dp-visually enjoy you

The gay community:

In my quest for stories about experiences involving dick pics, I received several responses from straight females and one response from a gay male. He offered me a lot of insight.

  • Expected outcome when sending one: “First thing to understand is that all this was through Grindr. So for gay guys, you send one in the hopes of getting a pic in return. It’s ridiculously easy to get dick pics for no reason, too.”
  • Recipient’s reactions: “It varied depending on who I was talking to. I was never one of those guys who just sent a pic unless they asked first, so I always got some kind of a response. Usually pretty dirty.”
  • His reactions to receiving pictures: “Sometimes they just came out of nowhere. If that was the case, I just ignored it. If it was with someone I’d been talking to, it could be pretty hot.”
  • Preparations before sending a dick pic: “The thought process behind it (honestly) is just to make your dick look as good as possible. So lighting matters and so does the angle. Fun fact: day light, rather than light bulbs or whatever was usually the best. The weirdest variable was always trying to get and stay hard while you’re trying to take a flattering pic.” dp-that's a penis

Discussion Questions:

When any story involving a penis is told with a group of lady friends, a question/ answer session typically follows.

How big was it?dp-schmidt

Was it hard? dp-limppenis

Did it look normal?

dp-idk what that is

Are you gonna bang him?dp-sam

Can we see a pic?

dp- juding

Let’s wrap this up:

Stop sending surprise dick pics on Snapchat. Stop sending surprise dick pics in general. Make sure you’re sending them to someone that wants to see it so you don’t become the laughing stock of an entire bar.

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