Streetz 94.5: You’ve been spendin’ all your life livin’ in a gangsta’s paradise. You’re a hoodrat with a dark past and you’ve done some things you’re not proud of, like listen to a T-Pain song every once in a while. You’re the slightly more underground version of Hot 107.9, meaning you’re the underdog but you’re on the come up. I respect your hustle.
V-103: You’re smoother than a baby’s bottom stuffed in a tiny velour track suit. You’ve got the moves that make all the ladies swoon, and the fact that that slant rhyme was unintentional shows just how suave you really are. “Soft and warm: the quiet storm” is basically your middle name at this point. Even though it makes me gag.
Hot 107.9: You claim you’re one of a kind (aka, “Atlanta’s Only Hip-Hop Station”), but we all know it’s just because you’re insecure you might be overtaken by your competition.
Power 96.1: You’re fiercy loyal. You probably started listening to Elvis Duran and the rest of the morning crew when you were in high school, and you will ride or die for these people. You still wonder what happened to Christine Nagy after she left “for maternity leave” and was inexplicably replaced by Carolina Bermudez. Also John Bell was really fucking old. You thought about phone tapping your parents/significant other at least once, but then you realized phone taps were pretty fucked up. You enjoy listening to the same 5 songs in the same order for hours on end.
Q-100: You are a basic bitch. You love Beyonce, you think Iggy Azalea is totally running the hip-hop game, and you literally cannot even right now.
Kicks 101.5: You are a red-blooded, country lovin’, truck drivin’, Bud Light swiggin’ American. FREEDOM! Fuck the French! ‘Murica!
88.5 WRAS: You have awesome taste in music. Shouts out to the students on the late night shift who keep me satisfied with my supply of Action Bronson and underground hip-hop. You guys are true heroes. Also you’re totally outraged GPB is trying to take it over #SaveWRAS sign the change.org petition and never stop fighting the good fight! #NoNewFriends