Misc

… but someone has to do it. For those of you who know what I’m talking about, you get it. For those of you who don’t, well you’re about to learn. Serving is not a glamorous gig. No person in their right mind thinks to themselves growing up “yep I want to wait on other people who are ungrateful and rude.” Seriously, what I’m trying to understand about the other side of the fence is one simple thing: Why are people so rude to servers? That is the one thing I’mRead More

Posted On March 25, 2014 By In Miscellaneous

Cheer Up Now

Feeling forlorn about the weekend ending?  Did your dog just get hit by a car? Is March Madness making you, well, mad?   Do you just want to curl up and die in your Happy Meal that you bought just to cheer yourself up?  There is no faster way to regain composure and cheer than learning about another person’s embarrassing moments.  In the hopes of turning your frown upside down I would like to leave you with my four most embarrassing moments that I wish I was making up.   1. Read More
It sucks.  Having a shitty boss is like surviving on rice cakes for the rest of your life.  It’s outrageous!  It’s unfair, ridiculous, and criminal.  Maybe you’re on your 16th draft of a Pros and Cons of Quitting list, or maybe you’re resigned to the fact that your boss is as intelligent and useful as belly button lint–either way, try to see the bright side.  Here are some invaluable life lessons you can learn during this time:   1. What Incompetence Looks Like Sort of like how being raised byRead More
I am participating in a project which I do odd jobs to pay off my student loans and blog about them at Missoddjobs.com.  This is how I met Larry, an architect in San Francisco with a foot fetish, and more specifically, a tickling foot fetish.  I let him tickle my feet for one hour for $100.  That is approximately $1.67 per minute, for laughing on camera.  I can assure you there was nothing sexual about this odd job that involved my homely and humungous feet.  Larry did not have anRead More
Kids are getting dumber. Okay, not dumber, but definitely less intellectual. It’s a proven fact. We have such a religious-like belief in controlling a child’s diet; as kids, we’re told that one sugar cookie or half of a coca cola is like a ‘gateway food,’ and it will surely lead to chronic obesity down the road. But as we spend all of our OCD energy on monitoring what children eat, we forget about the importance of a healthy mind. Just go to any high school, or mall, or just aboutRead More
Last spring I got out of the Marine Corps and decided to go on a road trip to enjoy all the freedom I had been busy fighting over for the last five years.  I’m not sure what a country with no Air Force or Navy or any hostile Army at all has to do with American freedom, but that’s what I was told.  I was originally going to go solo, but I ended up taking my little sister along.  I initially said “hell no” when she asked, but I thoughtRead More
When I began to talk to, well, anyone who would talk to me about their American Girl Dolls, there was one common theme among women—not the wealth of American history obtained from their 18-inch-tall childhood friends, but the response, “No I didn’t have (insert blonde doll’s name), she was a b*tch, I had (insert different doll’s name), the cool one.” Which brings me to my question, why the hell did my mom buy me an American Girl Doll? The original American Girls—Samantha, Kirsten, and Molly—arrived on the market in 1986Read More
1. In a literal sense or manner. (See: literal).    Read More
Because I am an insufferable hipster douchebag, I not only listen to NPR, I kill a fair amount of time dicking around on NPR’s website. One of my favorite NPR blogs is alt.latino, which explores Latin rock and alternative music, and yesterday that blog had a wonderful, albeit brief, article about a concept I’ve come, over the past several months, to find incredibly powerful: saudade. (Click the link if for no other reason than to listen to some absolutely gorgeous Brazilian and Portuguese music. If you’ve never really gotten into bossa nova,Read More
Introduction The relationship between designers and developers can be tenuous. Designers spend hours on pixel-perfect visuals and crisp micro-interactions, striving to give users power and simplicity at the same time. Designers often cannot see the complexity of what they are asking for, but developers are forced to deal with that complexity; the edge cases that a lovely and idealized image cannot capture. They must deal with situations where a user has found a way to thwart the system, where data is overwhelming and unruly, where that simple design must scaleRead More
We could all take a lesson from Rose. Even though she never thought she’d have to let go of Jack, every once in a while, letting go is all there is left to do. Here are a few things we should let fall to the bottom of the sea, gone forever. 1. Safari Besides their private browsing (ahem) is there any use for this truly awful browser? It might have been a step up from NetScape but it comes in far below Firefox, Chrome and, yes, even Internet Explorer. ForRead More
My last post might have gotten you started on some thoughts for piercings, maybe in addition to my previous musings on tattoos. Hopefully I’ve shed some light on the deal-io with common body modifications and I didn’t send you running. That part about infections was pretty fucking gnarly, though. Anyway, today I aim to poke into some more touchy areas (see what I did there?). Incidentally, do you think I use parentheses too much? Unlike tattoos, you get second-chances with piercings. You can always take them out. Here is oneRead More