Posted On May 22, 2014 By In Miscellaneous

15 Signs You’re A Northern Transplant Living in the South

 
 

1. You get extremely sketched out and worry you’re about to be assaulted any time a stranger tries to say hi to you in passing, or God forbid, start up a conversation. Bitch, I don’t know you, quit tryna talk to me.

2. Your love for grits far surpasses that of any person who’s grown up knowing grits are a thing.

3. Swap out “grits” in the above item for “Chick Fil-A,” “biscuits,” “fried green tomatoes,” you get the idea. You’re a kid in a candy store. A fried, buttery candy store full of heart attacks and deliciousness.

4. You still can’t wrap your head around inefficient public transportation. I need to go from A to B which is a 10 minute drive and yet it takes 50 minutes on the MARTA for some unknown reason I still can’t figure out. WHY?! Maybe this is just an Atlanta thing?

5. You held the door open for someone once when you didn’t have to because you could tell she was on her phone/also carrying groceries and you thought, “Wow! This is it! I’m a Southerner now!”

6. You used to be vehemently opposed to boat shoes but now you’re like, “meh, I kind of want a pair,” but will never buy one out of fear that your family and friends will never let it go.

7. You’re still not really sure what the deal is with those plain white “bar hats” is, though. Or monogrammed shit in general.

8. Few things make you want to gloat more than the ability to wear shorts in October (and not get frostbite).

9. You’re not sure exactly when or how it happened, but slowly but surely, “you guys” began its eventual decline in your vernacular and was replaced by “y’all.”

10. Snow days are like your Christmas because you get to throw ALL THE SHADE at your Southern counterparts for not knowing how to fucking drive in the snow. (Hint: it’s not a special technique. There’s no special class we go to up north called Driving in the Snow 101. It’s called: DRIVE SLOW AND DON’T SLAM ON YOUR DAMN BRAKES).

11. Also, fuck yeah, no work. Thank you, all two snowflakes.

12. You get sort of jealous that your friends from home don’t visit as often as you’d like because “you live too far” but then you’re like, “eh, more biscuits and Southern gentlemen for me.”

13. Speaking of Southern gentlemen,  you really want to snatch one up but when you go on dates the cultural disconnect is at times undeniable, making your dreams difficult.

14. Like how no one can get over your “accent.” Fuck you guys, “marry,” “Merry,” and “Mary” are not supposed to sound the same, you’re doing it wrong!!

15. Your family is still holding out hope that you’ll move back home one day, and you’re all, “but why on Earth would I do that?” while giving them the side-eye.

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