Posted On June 24, 2014 By In Dating For Men, Dating For Women, Girlzone

On Why We Need to Stop Treating Our Relationships Like Jobs

 
 

My last relationship was perfect.
On paper.

It was the kind of relationship that you dressed up in the clothes that you kept on the other side of the closet for.
The kind that came with free coffee and the opportunity of advancement.
Where you pretended to know about things you only had a vague idea about.
It was the kind that made your mom happy.
That made you feel like a grown-up.

It was the kind of relationship that paid well, had a great healthcare plan, and you could see yourself retiring with.

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However, I began to realize that I really didn’t enjoy it.
It felt like the relationship I was supposed to be in, but not the one that I wanted to be in.

Though it had all of the elements that made for a “happy” life, it just wasn’t for me.

So eventually, I left that relationship in order to pursue other ventures.

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During college and even high school, I only had part-time flings, maybe for the summer or just during the school year, but nothing too permanent.

Suddenly, I had graduated college and significant others and family members were asking me about a five-year plan.

And though I don’t find anything wrong with this, I don’t think it’s for everyone and I think it’s important we all know that.

You might NOT find the love of your life right out of college. Or maybe you will and it’ll start as some kind of internship type thing that’ll become more serious. I dunno. It’s different for everyone.

Don’t let a silly article…even this one…tell you how love is supposed to be for you.
How it’s supposed to feel.
And how long you’re supposed to date.
Until you get married.
And have kids.
And a golden retriever.
All I can say is, you do you, man.

A few months ago, I started dating someone that is almost the complete opposite of my last relationship. Nothing at all is certain and I couldn’t tell you what our future holds.

But I do know that it feels wonderfully right.
And in this moment right now, I have never been so in love.
Suddenly, I am 100% in my element where everything just kinda makes sense.
But the thing is, it’s not a means to an end. It just is.
I’m not saying to stop thinking about the future.
But maybe just stop to think about right now.

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Don’t be afraid to pursue your dreams even if they don’t meet the checklist your LinkedIn or even Match.com profile is suggesting.

Find whom you love and let that be enough.
Maybe it works and maybe it doesn’t.
But if you don’t love it, you’ll never be happy.
No matter how many steak dinners or pre-paid deductibles it offers.

Because at the end of the day, your relationship is not your job.
And if starts to feel like one, maybe you’re in the wrong career.

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Kelli Johnson is an aspiring writer and the current (self-proclaimed) most kickass substitute teacher of all time. Her obsessions include coffeehouse chatter, Radiohead on rainy days (aka Rainiohead), and coming up with alternative tag lines for the Real Housewives. When she's not molding young minds or crying over her student loans, she can be found watching Golden Girls reruns or frolicking with her sweet tortoise named Spartacus.

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