I get it bros. Most of us think we’re the most badass dudes in the world and that the only thing we need to change about ourselves is the car we drive or the money in our bank account. But no matter who you are, there is always room for improvement. Here are five easy, productive changes for men to make in 2014. Get it done.
#5 – Be a Fucking Gentleman
Too many dudes these days don’t care enough about chivalry. No, you don’t need to give the shirt off your back to any random chick waiting in the taxi line who appears cold. But have a little bit of decency and try to be more gentlemanly. Open car doors. Hold heavy doors. Pull out a chair for your date. Not only does this show women that you’re the good man that your mom raised you to be, but I guarantee you, chivalry is sexy, and it will definitely get you laid more often than being a dick.
#4 – Play Fewer Video Games
You are not fifteen years old. You (hopefully) do not live in your parents basement. Go out, socialize, and meet people. Video games are the biggest time-suck of all time. You are accomplishing zero real life achievements by pwning n00bz on Call of Duty. If you love a certain game, get it when it comes out and beat it. One time. Then put down the fuckin Xbox controller and go talk to some real-life humans. Note: talking to them on your super rad bluetooth headset does not count.
#3 – Be More of a Man’s Man
As you get older, this shit is going to become more and more important. Someday, you will (hopefully) be married, and NEED your male friends to do manly shit that you’re unable to do with a wife and kids around. Get started NOW. Learn about microbrews and whiskey. Improve your Texas Hold’Em game. Memorize the entire fucking roster of your local football team. Be a man for Christ sake. Do this now, or turn into the 40 year old dude who watches Netflix with his wife seven nights a week. That ain’t ever gonna be me, homie.
#2 – Watch Less Porn
I get it dudes. We’ve all been there: a rough patch in your dating life or a long stretch without any action can lead any man to the playgrounds of RedTube and YouPorn. If you’re horny or lonely or need to release some…uhh..stress, porn sites can be a quick fix to your problems. But the short-term solution can bring about long term problems. Studies have repeatedly shown that men that watch a lot of porn have unrealistic expectations for their sex lives (do you really want to date a chick that wants to share you with the whole neighborhood?) and can even have trouble performing when he comes time to have sex with a real, live woman. Instead of getting off to Bree Olson taking on three footlongs (and NOT the Subway kind), turn off the computer, grab a condom, and go meet some women to fulfill your fantasies with. You’ll be happier in the long run.
#1 – Think About You a Little Bit Less
It’s really that simple: thinking of others more and yourself less can greatly improve your happiness and mental well-being. Not to mention, as I’m sure you are already aware, women hate selfish men. Do things for others, whether it’s your girlfriend, your mom, or some elderly lady at the grocery store. Doing things for other people will make YOU feel better and ultimately, help you be a better man.
Happy New Years, gents. Here’s to a great 2014.