Moving back in with your parents isn’t glamorous. I think we all know that, some better than others. But that’s where I’m at–in my childhood home, being stretched to the limits with Mama Darling, Papa Darling, my two adult brothers, and me. It’s like a second childhood, only minus Sister Darling. With all these people packed into the house, it’s hard to catch any time alone, but when I do…
1. I Drink a Diet Coke First Thing After Waking Up
Let’s be real, it’s 11AM anyways and that’s practically lunch! Plus I don’t want to attempt dad’s coffee machine and I need some caffeine (without my mother’s judgement). Diet coke!
2. I Burp!
Letting my body do its thing loud and proud! What a relief. Not that I usually hold back in front of my family or anything. That’s LOLable. Still, there’s something gratifying about the echo of your burp in a quiet house.
3. I Come Out of My Lair, I Mean Bedroom
On top of having my own personal AC in there, my bedroom is my sanctuary. Even if it doesn’t have a lock because we don’t believe in locks because privacy is just one of those knock-and-then-quickly-enter-anyways type deals. Abandoning my AC privileges and my faux-privacy is something I don’t do lightly.
4. I Poop With the Door Open
Okay, this one I haven’t actually done. It’s a little too real and risky for my brand of adventure, but one of the Brothers Darling could tell you how satisfying that particular situation could be. To each his own.
5. I Pee With the Door Open
This is more my speed! How exhilarating, really. This one you have to try. One of my brothers has even been neutralized to the thrill of doing it so often, that he now pees with the door open when we are home.
6. I Play That Funky Music
You know, the kind you can’t play when your family is around. Maybe I have a little confession to make. My family’s genre of choice is typically alternative or classic rock, but when no one is home I listen to Abba.
7. I Dance in Front of the Fan
You know dancing had to make the list. Truly, there are no dance moves more freeing or badass than the ones performed alone. And come on, Dancing Queen? Talk about perfect.