May 11th: Unfortunate Items to Carry On Public Transportation
1. Super Tampons
A charge had been placed on all bags in stores such as, Walgreens, Target, Safeway, Sex Stores, and Taco Bells alike.
(I get really touchy, by the way, when I have to pay ten cents for the transportation device of my bean and cheese burrito with no onions and seven packets of mild hot sauce.)
This means that when I am trying to support the environment and the survival of baby seals and not pay ten cents that I sometimes am faced with the event of carrying a box of tampons on the bus. Nothing says, don’t sit next to me, like headphones and a super plus tampon box in your lap.
2. Opened Salami
Perhaps I purchased salami and was hungry upon my walk to the bus stop so then I had a few pieces, and then I was faced with a daunting thirty-minute bout with public transportation and an open carton of salami.
There is nothing that smells quite like salami besides salami and rotting felines.
3. Key Boards
Sometimes you spill soup on your lap top even though you are a grown adult creature, which means you must purchase a massive and impractical external key board, and then carry that under your arm on the bus like it is as natural as a grocery bag that you paid ten cents for.