Finding love- one of the ultimate journeys we take during our lifetime. Some people have success early on their lives, before online dating became mainstream or even before smart phones were the norm. Now people are connected to their phones and going without it for even a few hours is considered “going off the grid.” We manage funds through it, exchange money between friends, call a personal transportation service, and even potentially meet our soul mate.
When I first moved to a new city, I decided to give OKCupid a chance. My tumultuous relationship ended so I gave OKCupid a shot and my friends and roommate thought that would be a good route to explore. Within the first few days, I met an incredible guy, on paper. He started his own company, extremely engaging, our kids would have gone straight to the NBA Draft, and he called instead of texted and followed up when he said he would. You know, all the things us ladies say we want, when the timing is right.
I wasn’t ready to be in another relationship. I wasn’t ready to let myself go down that route again. And I wasn’t done figuring out myself as an individual. If timing is everything, then that was the cause of me not reciprocating the feelings, especially when his online profile and manners made him seem like an absolute unicorn in a stable full of steeds.
Since then, I’ve been on just about all of the apps: the OG Tinder (but I got catfished on there so that was the end of that), the female empowerment app Bumble, I signed up for Coffee Meets Bagel, but I completely forgot I joined, then the most recent adventure, The League. In between downloading and deleting Bumble, I’ve also gone out with guys that I met at the gym, out with my friends, or even the occasional blind date. I know, it’s hard to believe that people do meet sans phone but it still happens, occasionally.
I’ve been on dates with pure excitement before arriving at the decided location because we couldn’t stop texting one another prior to our meeting, but then we quickly realized that the chemistry was less than noticeable. But then there were the few dates that proved the chemistry was palpable, but for whatever reason, it didn’t pan out. Perhaps he was still mending a broken heart or still wanted to keep swiping or maybe I wasn’t completely over the wrong guy. Whatever the case, timing just wasn’t on our side.
But even with the help of several dating apps and friends, timing has proven to be the determinant of a successful relationship and whether or not I’ll actually get to avoid getting carpel tunnel from swiping and typing. Seriously, I can’t be that bad and I like to think I have some self-respect and pick worth-while guys. Even when you think you’re ready for a relationship or you’ve finally come to be the best self you can be, the other person may be going through some other personal turmoil creating a rift in the timing of your story together. But, that’s the funny thing about timing is that while you would like to believe you can have some control over it, you just don’t.
Maybe you’re destined to meet someone the old-fashioned way: out doing something you love such as hiking, painting, or drinking with your friends (because that’s fun too) and even the timing of those activities haven’t lined up yet. Or perhaps timing has been off for you and a potential match on an app, and eventually you will swipe right on your forever match. Or perhaps you already met your soul mate, but it was bad timing. Eventually timing will be on your side and you’ll understand why it took so long.