Rants Category

A while ago I wrote an extremely coherent and intelligently worded post on my personal blog, which later appeared on Betches Love This, about why I hate it when dudes ask me to “come over and watch a movie.” Since then I’ve gotten a lot of shit from guys being all, “I don’t see what the big deal is, I pull that move all the time, it’s great and super effective,” blah blah blah. Okay, so I guess I wasn’t clear enough the first time so I’m coming back at youRead More

I firmly believe that when it comes to dating, texting is the actual devil. It is the demise of dozens of relationships and one text can be a game changer for countless others. One text can keep someone up all night in a ball of anxiety, and one vibration of a phone can send someone into a nervous tizzy. If it were up to me, texting would be strictly for use between friends. And not the, “Oh my god, I’m so not into him at all,” friends, I mean actualRead More

Despite the boyhood day dreams of jumping out of airplanes shaped like sandboxes and sniping terrorists in my backyard with broom sticks, I had little actual inclination to join the military.  I went through a brief period in high school where I wanted to be a Navy SEAL because I thought it was cool to have a goal that others could not achieve, but in reality, and like most people I’ve met, joining the military was more of a plan C or D than anything else.  Of course, soon afterRead More

College life has always carried a certain image.  Sure, there’s the prestige, honor and the promise of higher learning, but deep down we all think of one thing whenever our alma mater is brought up. Blame National Lampoon, Revenge of the Nerds or any movie ever made about college, but overall, the media presents the best four years of our lives as the most wasted years of our lives.  Depending on who you are, where you are, or what frat you’re in, that may or may not be the truthRead More

I know there are way more annoying things you all do…but these 5 have been bugging me the most lately. 1. Posting 1,001 pictures of your dog/cat/baby Okay I get it. You’re really excited about your dog/cat/baby and think it’s the cutest thing in the world. I love dogs! Please, share a picture of it so I can get really jealous and comment how cute it is and how lucky you are. Cats, kinda cute. And babies look like little fat aliens. Fact: 99% of animal babies are cuter thanRead More

We could all take a lesson from Rose. Even though she never thought she’d have to let go of Jack, every once in a while, letting go is all there is left to do. Here are a few things we should let fall to the bottom of the sea, gone forever. 1. Safari Besides their private browsing (ahem) is there any use for this truly awful browser? It might have been a step up from NetScape but it comes in far below Firefox, Chrome and, yes, even Internet Explorer. ForRead More

This year, my New Year’s Resolution was to try to be more patient with people and more understanding of little things that shouldn’t frustrate me. Friends and family are always telling me to slow down and take a breath. Truth is, I tried and continue to try. But sometimes it’s completely alright to just lose it, throw the bird, pass on a double yellow, or skip your iPhone across a lake. For instance… 8.  Drivers going well under the speed limit on a single lane road When you are inRead More

So I’m going to assume most people reading this are over the age of 18. Therefore, you are an adult. Act like one. Here are seven situations in which I see people continuously act like lazy children and I CAN’T DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE.   1. Pick up after the messes you make. -We’ve all been there. You’re in a rush at the grocery store trying to make it home in time for the Bachelor. There’s that last item you need to grab so you run down the aisle withRead More

This one goes out to anyone who is living in an American city that is being overtaken by invaders from the planet Hip; this is for the lonely, who haunt dark corners of mainstream venues secretly watching their favorite unfortunately popular bands; this is for the silent casualties of fashion, who actually want more than a single gear on their bike because it’s freakin’ easier to get up those hills; this is for the few of us who eat GMO food and never talk about it; this is for theRead More

Ah…the selfie.  The selfie’s gotten a ton of grief ever since the good ol’ Myspace days.  As social media sites like Instagram continue to grow in popularity, the selfie is more commonplace than ever before—and yet, the subject of much hate and controversy. Well, I’m fed up with all this selfie hate and it turns out that I’ve got a few choice words for all you selfie-bashers out there. We live in a world that’s constantly trying to convince us that we’re ugly just so it can sell us shit. Read More

This is a poem I wrote about selfies:   Think twice Smile nice Or pay the price Of your ugly selfie vice   We live in the ultimate culture of narcissism. Us twenty-somethings love ourselves more than any generation before. Ever since the first smartphone maker manufactured the first reversible camera, we’ve been obsessed with ourselves: seeking self-validated self-esteem gained from a self-taken picture of oneself has manifested in the onslaught of obnoxious selfies and selfie behavior. Surely, you’ve seen it. The airport is one popular spot. Right in frontRead More

This isn’t a sensual, romantic or happy post whatsoever. You probably opened it because it said “naked,” in the title, and that part I meant. Hey, it got you to open the article, didn’t it? Don’t worry, I included a picture of a half-naked girl, which has made your time thus far totally worth it. Anyway, this is a rant – a rant about how awful it has become to travel with bags on an airline. Recently, I flew to Santa Barbara. I had an awesome time. On the flightRead More