Miscellaneous Category

One year ago today, we launched this site with 10 people and a dream. Now, with well over 1,100 articles produced, 85 writers and counting, and over ONE MILLION page views in our first year, I could not be any happier with the direction of  Writtalin.   Happy New Year to all of you reading. Thank you to everyone who has made any of this possible, whether you’ve written twenty articles or just read one. Here’s to an even better 2015!   -Ascher Robbins Editor-in-ChiefRead More

There’s something about engaging in a (slightly) revolting activity in the presence of an attractive individual that is not preferable. By presence, I specifically mean sitting one inch away from a nice-looking Canadian man on an airplane, and by revolting I mean unwrapping a half-devoured, room-temperature burrito in your lap from a mock “Chipotle” in the Dallas airport and spilling black beans on your shared armrest. Excuse me, sir, care for a luke-warm lentil?  I had four more hours of traveling next to my burrito and this Canadian man andRead More

  Record 23: San Diego. Friday, July 5th, 2013. Day. There was a jacuzzi at the bed and breakfast that no one used. It sat in its faux-plastic glory beneath a stained red awning, shriveled and crusted from rainfall and neglect. The water was the coolest blue you could imagine. Like 5 star hotel swimming pools. You could see to the bottom without debris clouding your vision, or obstructing your view in any way. That’s what Maddie thought. That’s what Maddie told Cool Josh the night before the wedding, inRead More

Dear Mommy,   I’m sorry I don’t write more often, but it’s difficult to put a pen to paper or tap the keys on my laptop at times when I think of you. It’s almost Christmas and that was always your favorite holiday. You decorated the house the day after Halloween before disregarding Thanksgiving went mainstream. You were always ahead of the trends. This will be the third Christmas without you, but the first one that I’ll say out loud, “Mommy’s not coming back.”   I thought about you today.Read More

November and December are more than simple holiday months. This is the time in which the cinematic heavy-hitters step up to the plate. The 2014 movie scene got off to a relatively crappy start, but here are some well-done, indie-ish films that are worth checking out:   Birdman Director: Alejandro González Iñárritu Stars: Michael Keaton, Zach Galifianakis, Edward Norton This movie just takes us on a whirlwind adventure. There is literally never a dull moment in this film. I am glad to see Keaton up and at ’em throughout this movie, andRead More

Lunch Break   Blah Blah Blah Change. I notice some loose conversation going on near me. I look up from my tuna salad sandwich that I brought with me for my short lunch break to a harsh realization – it’s almost 2015. This is around the time people start to reflect on the year that they have just survived. It’s around the time where people begin to point out the failures of the past twelve months, usually while cradling a bottle of vodka and sobbing to the music of MarvinRead More

Dear Shitty Parents, I know this is not a polite way to start off a letter, but who the fuck do you think you are?  There is not enough coffee in the world to protect me from your OC superiority complex.  I know I smile a lot.  And yes, I’m pretty damn good at making the Children’s Department look like Disneyland.  However, I did not think it was endearing that you referred to me as a “super nanny.”  I am a stressed out twenty-something trying to make some money whileRead More

The age old profession of bartender, like the hairdresser, barber, or manicurist, also doubles as a cheap therapist. Something about the job just makes people want to tell you things, oftentimes also looking for advice. Having been working in a bar for two months now, I’ve already heard some of the most intense stories I could have imagined. I’ve heard from two men whose wives left them in their sleep after ten plus years of marriage, and conversely happy oops babies after years of thinking that was long over with.Read More

I may not have you yet, and am not in a position to have you this year or even the next. But I do know that I will love you when I do.  I envision us during the holiday season, my son playing with action figures by the fireplace, my daughter playing with a new doll. And if it is my daughter playing with action figures, and my son cradling a new doll, I know I will be just as happy.  Although I can’t guarantee exactly how your lives willRead More

We all have that one Aunt or Grandparent that asks too many questions about your life at Thanksgiving dinner, and frankly, you don’t have the energy or care to answer them. It is annoying; it is a waste of breath; and you are most likely just going to be yelled at for whatever answer you give them, even if you’re telling them something good. You’re never right and they’re never wrong. Here are the generic, irritating and useless questions I’m sure we all have received at least once:   1.Read More

Record 22: Palm Springs, Thursday, July 5th, 2012. Day. Jake and his bro Ajax rode golf carts on the casino’s course every Thursday at 8pm. They never played golf. Casino and hotel patrons would often ask: “why?” The question was a fair one, says this guy here. Jake and Ajax, they didn’t like to respond to any such inquisition. Instead, they’d glare at the casino and hotel patrons from the casino and hotel bar, and when perturbed by dyspeptic tourists or slot-addicted regulars, they’d ask: “What are you doing inRead More

It was one of those classic San Francisco mornings.  In other words, I was hungover and there were homeless men sleeping outside my 6-floor building downtown.  I liked where I lived.  It was “different.”  Moreover, it was my first studio apartment and when I lifted my murphy bed back into the wall, I could dance in my underwear by myself or with a special friend, depending on the day of the week.  I had left suburbia and entered a city where I could sort of see my entire future unfolding.  TheRead More

She grabs your shoulders from behind, in a back-hug and shakes you around like a my-sized, standing shake and bake…also how you’re not supposed to shake a newborn baby. “Look at you! You’re amazing!” She says to your reflection that stares from an abandoned and mirrored headboard on the sidewalk that you’re sure has witnessed a night or eighty of raunchy sex. You tell her you may cry because you’re hungry and tears are your undue reaction to low blood sugar. You try not to for the sake of theRead More

We said good-bye, or at least we just stopped talking. It seems that how most modern-day love stories start their end. I thought I loved you, but I really didn’t like you. You portrayed a collected façade that only hid shattered pieces that no one really knew how to mend together. I believed things would get better sooner than later, but I think the lies to myself got the best of me.   It took time to realize the damage that you created and the sorrow that you lived through.Read More

I first met my former roommate’s pet parakeet when I came home late from work one night. I entered my apartment sometime around midnight to the sound of birds chirping like I was in a goddamn rain forest, a fully-lit kitchen/living room area, and a tiny blue and yellow avian fella perched in a cage placed atop a table. He was chirping and staring at me, blinking expectantly. My roommate had already gone to bed, so I was unsure of how to proceed re: introducing myself to the newest additionRead More