All posts by Brendon Lemon

Brendon Lemon is a comedian & writer from Detroit, Michigan. He started doing comedy at age 14 and was a featured comic in the 2008 documentary Be Funny. He's performed stand-up in seven countries on two continents. His interests include reading Baudrillard and Zizek while listening to The White Stripes. Follow his cracker ass at @BlkBnr on Twitter.

A gig, a joint, a position, a role, a racket, a profession, a grind, they’re all still a job. Employment. If you’re a creative type, living in the rust belt, or were as foolish as our staff and majored in liberal arts, you’ve probably found yourself unemployed or scrambling from project to project in this post-career employment economy. At some point you’ll have to make ends meet and this will mean one thing: working for someone else. And if your only skills take place outside of cyberspace, or you speakRead More

Posted On February 25, 2015By Brendon LemonIn Advice For Men, Manzone

Become A Maniac, Change Your Life

By the time you read this I’ll be 29, probably. One last year of my 20s. It’s settling on me like the realization that five compartments were flooding settled on Thomas Andrews, my 20s will be over. I will become 30… I wished that I had developed a better vision for what I wanted my life to be like when I was 30. If I had I probably wouldn’t be broke & living in my parents’ house in west Michigan. Maybe not majoring in Philosophy would’ve helped too. But thisRead More

Posted On February 24, 2015By Brendon LemonIn Lifestyle, Manzone

What Happens when a Crossfit Gym Closes

“Everyone in the neighborhood rejoices?” or “A bunch of meatheads have to look for something else to talk about?” you’re probably thinking. You’re right, there’s a tremendous and well-deserved reputation for Crossfit gyms to be full of braggadocios who are constantly throwing around jargon like “WOD,” “PR,” “AMRAP,” and the like. The Crossfit experience has definitely bred these things into members, but what it’s also bred is what’s given rise to the cultish following: fitness, healthy habits, weight loss. I can already feel your eyes rolling at your computer screen,Read More
As the economy teeters back from it’s near seven-year dance of riding on a single rail companies are once again starting to hire. And with so many eager participants to no longer be underemployed, HR departments are barely treading water above a deluge of applications. This perfect storm has given birth to the unhallowed beastie of employment-seeking, the kraken of job-getting: the group interview. In the wide and awkward world of acutely uncomfortable moments that is attaining employment, there is almost no greater circus of discomfort than the group interview. ARead More

Posted On January 15, 2015By Brendon LemonIn Lifestyle, Manzone

20 Excuses That Are Better Than You Doing Crossfit

1. It’s really hard, and you enjoy a more casual amount of exercise. Walking from the couch to the fridge, for example. 2. Those weird pull-ups thy do look dumb and probably don’t even work. I bet you can do 30 of them in a row already. Go ahead, try it. 3. Your ego would really take a hit getting put to shame by a ripped and gorgeous Crossfit girl, better not risk it. 4. You don’t want to lift weights and get bulky like a man, you prefer yourRead More
First, step back and realize how totally insane the events in Paris have become. Take a deep breath and exit Tweetdeck. Close your Facebook tab on Chrome. Now wander over to the window and look outside. Notice how unless you’re in Paris, nothing has changed. Anything still sitting with you? The frustration and anger you feel toward someone thousands of miles away murdering a couple of satirical cartoonists is justified. Don’t feel anything? No worries, I’m not going to hound you about it. The reactions to the Charlie Hebdo shooting,Read More

Posted On December 14, 2014By Brendon LemonIn Buzzworthy, The Scene

An Open Letter to Brian Kilmeade, Fox News host

Hey Brian!   How’s it going man? Still rocking that 8th grade haircut?   So I was recently watching The Daily Show when I saw a brief clip of what you said to Jon Stewart (http://youtu.be/9To_NyVryxM), and boy, Jon is right.   Giving you the benefit of the doubt, maybe it’s just the lying (http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/erik-wemple/wp/2014/07/08/punditfact-scorecards-show-false-statements-on-fox-news-nbcmsnbc/), horrible news network you work for and their destructive culture that has got you saying things so petty. I mean, I can’t believe you really support eugenics (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/20/brian-kilmeade-apologizes_n_241135.html). Maybe being on TV everyday and having to just keepRead More
If the rise of superhero movies has taught us anything lately, it’s that audiences still crave stories about lone heroes taking on a world of injustice (seriously, to the tune of $95 million for the second weekend of Captain America: The Winter Soldier). Spider Man, Batman, The Man of Steel, heck, even movies like Divergent, 300, and The Hunger Games all prove it; people are obsessed with stories about someone with powerful, unique inner potential. Has anyone ever watched Bond, James Bond, kicking ass and taking names while looking slickRead More

Posted On April 3, 2014By Brendon LemonIn Lifestyle, Miscellaneous

Why Dating a European Woman Rocks

I knew it right away, after our first date, heading back to my apartment on the Metro line eight; this girl was different, awesomely different. We talked for hours as we wandered at dusk from the bars on Ile St. Louis to bars on Cité, listening to street musicians. Maybe it was Paris, maybe I became mature enough to chill out and go with the flow (probably not), or maybe it’s that she’s just a uniquely awesome girl (probably so), but also, maybe it’s just European women. In any case,Read More

Posted On April 2, 2014By Brendon LemonIn Internet, The Scene

Kill Your Facebook

Barbecue sauce, weekend benders, porn, television, movies, Hulu. What do these all have in common? In reasonable doses they can add new dimensions of fun and texture to your life, but too much and the law of diminishing returns kicks in. What’s delicious? Hot wings and barbecue. What’s disgusting? One wing in a tub of Stubb’s. This is what personal media has become to me: a constant binge of distraction. Let me clarify something. I’m 28. I’m in the doldrums of the twenty-something. I’m now filling the void which wasRead More