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It’s been a rough two years, boys and girls. You see, I finally found out that these girls I loved didn’t love me back, after all. It was a slow, painful realization that the objects of my affection wanted to commit themselves to other men instead of me. Tragic. Yup,
read more →It has been a beautiful weekend of playoff basketball. Despite the absence of the old guard, all of the playoff games so far have been compelling. The Knicks, Celtics, and Lakers aren’t necessary to make things interesting. After a huge focus on the tanking, non-playoff teams throughout the season, we
read more →The caps and gowns have come in, but those of us in the Class of 2014 that are still slightly in denial about the end of our college careers have kept them safely stowed in the back of the closet. As May approaches, the number of awkward small talk and
read more →As a twenty-something year-old woman living in a city that is highly populated with single individuals, I have become quite familiar with Tinder. Newly single, ready to mingle, and hungry for Pringles, I committed to eating for a work week only while on Tinder dates. I approached each date with
read more →It’s April, and you know what that means: Spring is in the air, the days are getting longer, and around the country, thousands upon thousands of undergraduates are either crapping their pants or crying into so many Keystone Lights. Why, you ask? Because in a month’s time, the Class of
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Mars
Wifeable Celebrities: A New Hope
It’s been a rough two years, boys and girls. You see, I finally found out that these girls I loved didn’t love me back, after all. It was a slow, painful realization that the objects of my affection wanted to commit themselves
Venus
The Inner Monologue of Someone Going to Work on 2 Hours of Sleep
7am: The Slumber Fuck it, I’m not going to work. I’ll just call in sick. I have sick days, right? They’ll understand even though I’m taking two days off for the holidays. Fuck it then, I’ll just come in late. I’ll turn
The Scene
DIY Coachella
It’s that time of year again, when all your hipster friends bring out their inner trust fund baby and venture to Indio, California for three days of sweat, dust, and ridiculous outfit choices. Remember your sweet friend Sally? Okay, maybe it was
sports
NBA: Where Game 1 Happens.
It has been a beautiful weekend of playoff basketball. Despite the absence of the old guard, all of the playoff games so far have been compelling. The Knicks, Celtics, and Lakers aren’t necessary to make things interesting. After a huge focus on the tanking, non-playoff teams throughout the season, we
Music
Top 5 Rap Songs to Make You Forget You’re a Privileged White Kid
I started listening to rap when I started going out in college, and that was what they played at frat parties. (Never mind that at the time I thought “Lazers” and “I’m on a Boat” counted as real rap, but
Regarding John Frusciante’s New Album Enclosure
Enclosure was made available April 8th, but I was able to hear it early because a satellite beamed it into my skull from outer space. The experimental satellite in question–not Valis but Sat-JF14–was deployed to transmit Frusciante’s twelfth full-length as
A Lovely Evening Of Consensual Self-Destruction
Oh god, I done did it again… One too many crantinis and this girl became an absolute trainwreck – complete with tear-smeared mascara and thirteen “prof pic!” updates in the space of 45 minutes, all iced with a nice Technicolor
Movies & TV
Man Donates His Penis to Museum in ‘The Final Member’… Yes, You Read That Right
The trailer for The Final Member begins benignly enough. The scene is set at the world’s only Phallological Museum, where curator Sigurður “Siggi” Hjartarson fauns over his extensive collection of – well, I probably don’t have to spell it out
Game of Thrones: Five Reasons Last Sunday’s Episode Sucked
*Spoilers Ahead* First off, I want to say that I love Game of Thrones. I have an unhealthy obsession with the show, the books, everything. Even this episode has some good moments. Seriously, watch it. But…. let’s face it,
The Big Lebowski: To Sequel or Not to Sequel?
I divide the world into two very distinct groups: The ones who have seen “The Big Lebowski” and the ones who have not. If you are in the latter group, please immediately stop reading this story and go die in
Everything Else
Try Out a Sensory Deprivation Float Tank
Sensory deprivation tanks are old, but newly-popular items used to deprive oneself of sensory stimuli for the purposes of relaxation, stress relief, extra-sensory perception, or enhanced creativity. They are lightproof, soundproof tanks filled with extremely buoyant saltwater that is kept at exactly skin temperature. When one floats in one of
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NBA: Where Game 1 Happens.
It has been a beautiful weekend of playoff basketball. Despite the absence of the old guard, all of the playoff games so far have been compelling. The Knicks, Celtics, and Lakers aren’t necessary to make things interesting. After a huge
Wifeable Celebrities: A New Hope
It’s been a rough two years, boys and girls. You see, I finally found out that these girls I loved didn’t love me back, after all. It was a slow, painful realization that the objects of my affection wanted to
Jade Elizabeth is Miss April!
Jade Elizabeth is our CoverGirl for April 2014. We first brought this Midwestern beauty to your attention when we featured her as a #WCW last month, but we just can’t get enough Jade – can you really blame us? We’re
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